Zabransky: Latin for Stages of Beard Growth

All of my Oklahoma friends, and some of the others, surely remember Jared Zabransky.

He, if you don't remember, quarterbacked the Boise State Broncos over the Oklahoma Sooners in the Fiesta Bowl following the 2006-2007 season. Normally I wouldn't enjoy bringing up the Red Headed Field General and his hideous "Z" tattoo, but I just had to this one time. I was thinking in the shower, and my thoughts accidentally led me astray. First I was thinking about facial hair, which was fine, but then I started thinking about Jared Zabransky. This startled me so I instantly tried to justify it by segwaying back into a normal train of thought... his career on the turf, even if it was blue.

Well, my friends at Oklahoma, and some of the others, you surely remember my various stages of beardom as well. Sometimes my beard just didn't look right, sometimes it was full and trim, sometimes non-existent and other times in the stages of growth. Well, here is some news for you. Unless you are Mr. Creecy, who always has a perfectly sculpted face display, all beards go through various stages of growth and performance.

"What does this have to do with that dude who pulled off the Statue of Liberty play?"
-You guys

I'm gonna tell you.

In 2002, Zabransky's (from now on I will call him Z, because I'm tired of typing that name) first year on the team, he was redshirted. He had to sit on the bench, waiting for his time to take the field and guide his team to victory. Hmm, this reminds me of my freshman year of college. I knew that my beard was in there, but it didn't have the confidence to come out and lead me to the places it would eventually be capable of. I left all the beard growing to my roommate, Duke.

In 2003 Z had to play the role of backup to Ryan Dinwiddie. This, assumingly, is the year in which he attained his confidence. He played on occasion, completing 11 of 23 passes for 180 yards and one touchdown. That's nice. Sometimes in my second year of school I had what some 12-year-olds might consider a beard too, but it's nothing to brag about.

In 2004 Z finally got his chance to shine. And shine he did. He took over as fulltime QB and led his team to an 11-1 record, losing only to a supreme Louisville team. He received several accolades, including honorable mention All-America and team MVP. Thinking back on it, the first time I went for it and grew a beard I did it hard and fast. It got perfectly full, I kept it trim, it looked nice and it didn't make any mistakes without my permission.

One summer break later Z is back on the field. He has done this before, he knows what he is doing. Oh wait, season opener vs. the Georgia Bulldogs. Z threw four interceptions in the first half along with fumbling the ball. He went on to start all 13 games for his team, threw for over 2,500 yard with 18 touchdowns, but looked sloppy along the way throwing 16 interceptions as well. Let me tell you, this is what will happen the second time you grow your face-warmer out. It's not such a new idea, you let it go on occasion and it probably looks bad to members of the opposite sex (which hopefully always means female).

This brings us to that fateful football season, 2006. Paul Thompson and his moustache just weren't enough to stop the beard-like Zabransky. Z got the win on a well-executed trick play and his name went down in history. It was the end of his college career and no one was going to remember any of the bad anymore, he had gotten them into a BCS bowl and defeated a national powerhouse team in Oklahoma. Looking back on my college career I don't remember any of the mornings I looked into the mirror and thought to myself that I looked like a jackass, I only remember the mornings where I looked into the mirror and my beard flexed it's biceps at me.

But college is over, and it's time to go to work and get paid. That means I won't be having a beard again for a while.

Hey, that reminds me of Z. He didn't get drafted, was signed by the Texans, cut, then picked up by the Steelers. Sorry Z, you won't be the QB for a while either, Roethlisberger is their man.

-Sam

Less Hair = More Twine

Well, it worked...for now.

The Stars won the game 7-2, which is quite a feat, even if it was against one of two teams with the fewest points in the NHL.

Let's hope the confidence carries over into tomorrow night's matchup against Anaheim and the Ducks.

First blogpost

When I sat down to start typing this I was instantly forced to answer an internal question; Is this called my first blog or my first post? I couldn't decide because I simply didn't know. I call it my first blogpost, just to be safe.

Alright Ramblers, let's get rambling.

My life lately has been without much contact with friends, which I hope doesn't last much longer. I graduated in December and quickly got out of the state of Oklahoma, leaving many friends behind. All of my efforts lately have been put toward getting myself set up in San Antonio. Most of my free time I have spent growing a beard, reading books, playing with my dog (I'm a full-grown man, I will lay in the grass all day!) and playing NHL 2K8. But now that things seem to be heading in the right direction for me as far as work goes, I decided it was time to start a blog.

Back to the beard. It's over. Flushed down the drain along with my dignity.

I was thinking about my recent follicle flolicking, and it seemed to me that it was coinciding with the Dallas Stars miserable record as of late. So I did what any fan would've done, I got out the Mach 3 and went to work. Halfway through, though, I thought about my brother and some friends (namely: Chris Creecy and Nate Aune) who had proudly donned "Trash-Stache's" in the last few months. The opportunity presented itself and I grabbed both handlebars, riding destiny towards my lip-rat.

The day was March 27th and later that evening the Stars would be facing off against rival San Jose Sharks. In the meantime, however, I had some time and hunger to kill. In situations like these, there is only one thing to do.

So as I slid my tray down the metal rails in front of all the sneeze-guards at Luby's I seemed to notice several 'twenty-somethings' who worked there gathering around and laughing, presumably at my whisker-wool. The thing that made me feel better about myself was realizing that the leader of the pack had a moustache too, he just didn't think he did. It was the kind of beard reserved for people like Turtle from Entourage, and the pencil-line crap down the side of his face was nowhere close to bridging the gap with his upper lip display.

Let it be known that I would have laughed at myself too.

So now that half (figuratively speaking, not percentage wise--of course) of my facial hair had been removed, I was ready to tune in and see just how much the Stars could accomplish. I fully expected calls after the game thanking me for my unselfishness. The puck dropped and things went well, atleast better than they had been going, for most of the game.

The verdict: a loss in overtime. This meant that the Stars would pick up one point (half that of a win).

Now that the lip is smooth once again, I am ready for the next game. Maybe this time Dallas will finish the job, something I hadn't done earlier with my razor.

Let's go Stars!